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Sarcastic Birthday Cards

67 products
  • Stop acting like you discovered Penicillin
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  • Official
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  • Happy 1.69th Birthday (on Saturn)
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  • I had no idea Humans lived this long. (Well Done.)
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  • Thinking of you (in a totally non-creepy way) on your birthday.
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  • Because your birthday is at Christmas time, I got you this card now (even though your Birthday is ages away) to wish you a Happy Birthday! (In case I don't see you on the day.)
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  • I was going to get you a funny card, but then I remembered. You don't have a sense of humour.
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  • Everything Will End Birthday Card
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  • Time Will Win, You Will Lose. 'Happy' Birthday.
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  • It gets to the point where you just stop counting, you know? (Probably because we all lost count ages ago.)
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  • Hope you have a wonderful thing
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  • It's your Birthday. Big Whoop. So what, you want a card or something?
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  • Happy 3/4 of a Century!
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  • Do you realise how difficult it is to find a Birthday card that isn't offensive for someone as old as you?
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  • You are now closer to turning seventy than you are to your own birth.
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  • Looks like the average age of the human population just went up a notch or two. I'm blaming you.
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  • Let the slow clap begin
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  • Wheel
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  • I can't believe I know an Eighty Year Old.
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